In other words, in countries that score high on Power Distance people, whom are older (and greyer) get (and deserve) more respect than the young one’s.
I was sitting on the couch a couple of years ago, when the world championship football was being played in Germany.
My in-laws from India were over in the Netherlands for a couple of weeks! Since my father in-law (age 68 then) is a great football fan he was very eager to watch the games being played. As he did.
One evening my mother in-law and partner were out to see a Hindi movie. Leaving my father in-law and myself alone at home. Not a problem.
There was food in the fridge, ready to be eaten. Around dinner time I suggested the two of us would have a bite. My father in-law jumped to his feet and opened the fridge, taking out the ready-to-eat salad. “How long should this go in the microwave?” he asked.
“Not!” I replied. “Salad should not be microwaved“, I replied. “Of course…” he said.
Not a House Man
You should know that my father in-law is not much of a house man. Really not. Not his fault: In India it is very common that the wive makes the food, and the man provides an income. My Indian father in-law could not even boil an egg! He never had to. He worked as a General Manager in a big Indian Steel factory.
Having finished his dinner salad, taking his plate, he walked to the kitchen. Wondering where to put it other than just in the kitchen sink. I saw him think: “Where do they put the dirty dishes…?“. He looked around but couldn’t seem to find the dishwasher. In and by itself that was amusing.
The Dutch in me
Having had my in-laws in our house for several weeks turned out to be a bit much for me (I’m Dutch…). I appreciate my independence and personal space. But what to do?
It turned out that my mother in-law was very active in our house: cooking, cleaning etc, and that my father in-law did…, well, nothing really. Eventually that started to annoy me. Although I never said anything to him directly (I’ve got some manners), he did seem to pick up that he also should contribute somewhat in our household (both my partner and I were working full time, and my mother in-law took over the kitchen).
So one day my father in-law decided, and told us that he would take care of the garbage. He would collect the garbage, put them in the bins, and put the bins outside.
“Nice” I thought. “Good work“. And even “finally (he’s doing something)” came to my mind.
That one day, the first time he actually took out the garbage my partner and I were sitting on our couch. My father in-law passed by carrying the garbage to put it outside, just like he told he would.
I turned to my partner and said to her: “Perfect, finally he’s doing something”
She turned to me and said: “You can’t let an old man (he was 68) do something like this. Taking out the garbage!”
Evidently my partner and I had very different insights. I (Dutch) was very happy that he pitched-in as well. My partner (Indian) could not see her father do this. Typically not taking out the garbage!
Indian culture dictates that older people deserve more respect than younger people. India’s score on Power Distance is relatively much higher than that of the Dutch, where people of all ages are more seen as equal.
What’s your experience with this? Please leave your comments here below!Please do not leave your comments on any LinkedIn group. Since this article is published in more groups, the discussion “lives” longer like this, when you leave your comments here. Thanks!
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